Yesterday I went to Confidence Live-and now I’m walking around with a slightly-too-big grin and a page of messy notes that feel oddly life-affirming. The kind you only scribble when something lands right in your chest. Little fragments of truth, scrawled in half-legible handwriting, that somehow made everything feel a bit more possible.
The day opened with laughter and chaos (the good kind), hosted by Pixie Polite and Professor Doctor Kieran Fenby-Hulse – who managed to set the tone with something that felt equal parts cheeky and deeply intentional. We weren’t there to be polished. We were there to be present. And it worked.
One of the first talks that really hit me was from Nicola Griffiths. She spoke about executive function in a way that felt generous and grounded. “Do the thing before the thing,” she said-meaning, do the prep when you have energy, not when you’re running on fumes. She offered this lovely trio of plans: Ideal. Fall-back. Bare minimum. I scribbled them down like a mantra.
She also shared a visual that stuck with me: two systems in our brains, the “Executive” and the “Autopilot”. The Executive handles new tasks-it’s clunky and effortful, like learning to drive. Autopilot is our well-worn groove, the stuff we do without thinking. All habits begin in Executive, and only with kind repetition do they migrate to Autopilot-our brain’s low-energy cruise control.
There was something else she said that’s still echoing: don’t set goals for the version of you who doesn’t exist yet. Oof. I’ve done that. Haven’t you? Written a to-do list for Superhuman Me and then wondered why I couldn’t keep up.
And oh, the way she dismantled the myth of willpower. If you’re low on resources, starting something new is always going to feel like a boulder uphill-not because you’re lazy, but because the brain is conserving energy. Willpower isn’t the key; the right approach is.
Later, Kira Matthews (@kirathebold) took the stage and sparked. Her energy was so alive-like talking to your most switched-on friend. She reminded us to “leave room for doubt,” to question our assumptions (even the sneaky ones), and not to trap ourselves in the endless pursuit of pleasure. “Reframe your question and ask someone else,” she said. That one made me pause.
Desree brought poetry that felt like a heartbeat. Soft but insistent. I remember the line “call it a halo” from her poem about odd jobs. There was something sacred in the smallness. Something holy in being unsure and still showing up.
Sue Perkins closed the day with what the agenda called simply: wow. And yes. It was that. A closing full of warmth, wit, and just enough weirdness to feel real. Having been on my own journey to discover this ADHD madness it’s nice to see someone else reflect and share lessons that they have learnt about the process and come out the other side.
Between the sessions, there were conversations. Soft ones. Scrappy ones. You know the type-someone complimenting your notebook, someone else sharing what made them cry. Tiny threads of connection that felt more powerful than any keynote.
I left with a full heart, a mess of scribbles, and a flicker of something new: a steadier kind of confidence. The kind that doesn’t strut. It just stands. Quietly. Surely. Waiting for you to notice it’s been there all along.
And if you’re waiting for motivation before starting something? Nicola had a word for that, too: activation before motivation. Just start. Let it be messy. Let it be yours.
I rounded out the day with drinks and laughter in the company of Pixie and Kieran – a little surreal, a lot joyful. The perfect close to a day that was already brimming with connection. Turns out, confidence doesn’t just come from the stage. Sometimes it shows up in shared stories over wine, in the in-between spaces, when the glitter’s starting to settle and everyone’s just a little more themselves.
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